Not new: 20 years ago my daughter could not wear an innocent-appearing bandana her grandfather had given her, because that color and design was claimed by a Tyler gang, who regularly drove through the high school parking lot. They prowled, and acted as owners of that "brand". Teens have always experienced light or very tough pressure to conform to whatever is "in" at the moment.
It's tougher, now. From the days of Adam and Eve, the general theme has been there. What about now? It's really hard for adults to perceive how isolated a bullied teen can feel. As an adult, I go about my life fairly secure. If someone harasses me or physically attacks me, I have legal recourse. I may be assaulted, but that isn't the end of it. A telephone connects me to quick, direct intervention. Help is available!
But, what if I am 14? And someone hits me, steals my lunch money or my shoes? Is there legal recourse? Does calling for help actually help? Or does it just bring further intimidation and violence from the bully? Is there a way out? (Insert your own story seen or experienced at this point.)
You hate to bring it to the surface, but for some teens, the shelter of a gang may provide the only shelter visible. Bad? Sure! Better than the alternative, being isolated and assaulted? Probably, at least in the very short term. Does that mean they "ought" to join a gang? Of course not, but it means any other plan just might not be visible to them.
As an adult concerned, ask if what we see is just the same old conformity-producing interaction, or is it a new breed of interpersonal cruelty? If there are lots of protective "layers" for adults, is it wise to remain unaware of the barren-ness of a cruel landscape for a teen who feels completely alone?
Got a suggestion about finding an accurate perception? Got a suggestion about altering the landscape for the benefit of one or many?
I'll collect and pass on what I get.
B
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